The Amazing Devil — Pruning Shears

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So we’re at this shindig everything’s going on they’re so filthy rich
Comparing oil rigs, how their girlfriend’s new car is so kitsch
Hanging off the chandeliers, their daughters are scoring with the auctioneers
And the oldies at the back try their best to hack their way out with the gardener’s pruning shears

And they’re discussing champagne
The latest and greatest lame campaign, and how their brothers own shares one
Day it’ll make them millionaires, you see this girl, she
Looks like she crawled out the lost and found
She pulls right up to my ear and says
Whatever you do don’t turn

Love it’s a game
Champagne’s the main course
A million stairs and a million stares
Unfurl my wings
My fall makes no sound here
Don’t turn around dear
Don’t turn

Roundabouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around
Abouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around

Only one not wearing cufflinks, only one not begging to buy her drinks
Watching the clocks and
Do you think she even knows I bought my shoes from oxfam
And they’re telling jokes
Got that one about two men in a tent
Laughs out loud at mine do you like my accent like my accent
And I’ll watch her ruin her life and dye her hair bright colours
Become someone’s wife
Forget the girl that she once was
And I’ll sit by
Cocktail gripped in a shaking hand thinking what the hell went wrong ’cause we had this planned
Had it all planned

On the brink
Though we’ll drink
Yes I do even know you bought your shoes from oxfam
Watch me choke at your bad joke
There’s no fucking way you’re from Southend
I’m no one’s wife strife
All those fellas
Only scarecrow left in Oz
I’ll cry sail to foreign lands
The best laid plans had it all planned

Roundabouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around
Abouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around
[Bridge: Joey Batey]
It’s getting late
Look a complete and utter state
She pops out the blue and says

Doesn’t matter mate

See this girl she’s been around
Bet you a pound
She pulls right up to my ear and says

Whatever you do
Don’t turn ’round

My entire life it’s running away too fast
Watching everyone I’ve ever loved walk past
Never really quite getting the knack of
Knowing no one will not
Ever come back for you

My whole life
It won’t last
Merry make me love forget the past
I’m not telling but you can fuck off if no one will come back for you
Come back for you

Roundabouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around
Abouts and washing lines
We do each other’s laundry in our hearts sometimes
Come back
Come back
We don’t have time to fuck around

So we’re at this shindig everything’s going on so filthy rich
Comparing oil rigs how their girlfriend’s new car is so kitsch
Hanging off the chandeliers their daughters are scoring with the auctioneers
And the oldies at the back
They’re at the back
And we can hear their cheers

[Madeleine Hyland]
So we’re at this shindig everything’s going on they’re all bewitched
I’m drinking horlicks and my friends are telling me I’m pissed
Put up one hell of a fight
‘gainst all my sins and the candlelight
And don’t turn round
Darling