Milestones — Tearing At The Seams

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I found myself, scattered throughout
5 years of lingering self-doubt.
Trying to escape my flaws.
I couldn’t live like that anymore.

I’ve learnt to shake these feelings,
‘Cause they’re so overbearing
My thought patterns are so deceiving
I was sick of staring at the ceiling.

Never sleeping, never dreaming,
Felt like my seams were tearing.
Took so long for this web to un-weave,
I know it’s really hard to believe.

I tore myself apart, hour-by-hour,
Day by day, I couldn’t live like this anymore.
I still feel out of place, I still feel out of touch.
It’s easy to get lost, trying to find yourself,
And I’m almost found, but not yet.
‘Cause back then it felt like,
This life was a canvas, and my brush wouldn’t make a mark.
‘Cause back then it felt like,
This life was a match, and I just couldn’t trigger the spark.

I’ll keep screaming my lungs out
To express what I feel and how I felt.
Each time my voice gives out,
I’m one step closer to finding myself.