Jon LaJoie — Wtf Collective 2

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Текст Jon LaJoie — Wtf Collective 2

(MC Confusing)
MC Confusing back in this bitch
With a parking sandwich and a chicken ticket
I got a liquid face lift from a fig with big tits
And my wrist got twisted by a Brit with fake spit
And you don’t understand it ‘cuz you’re not supposed to
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
And I’m gonna leave soon but first I need to
Drink a Chevy Chase face and rape Robo Cop 2

(MC Historical Inaccuracy)
Yo, I’m MC Historical Inaccuracy
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in ’73
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Frank’s Diary
Which is about the Civil War of 1812 in Germany
I’m like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus
And Abe Lincoln’s suicide was the theme for my thesis
Like Moses when I focus, I can split the Red Sea
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese Army

(MC Don’t Know How To Pluralize Word(s))
I’m MC Don’t Know How to Pluralize Word
I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
When there’s more than one of something you’re supposed to pluralize
But I never learned that throughout all the year I’ve been alive

(MC Canadian Stereotype)
Hello, I’m MC Canadian Stereotype
I’m aboot to get started so let me get off the ice
But I don’t want any trouble and I am always polite
Now let’s hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
But first I’ll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
Et j’vais dire une phrase en francais, parce qu’ici on est bilingue
Oh boy, I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
Let’s go to the hospital, don’t worry, here in Canada it’s free, eh?

(MC Fatigue)
MC Fatigue, did ya miss me?
I’ll be awake for five minutes ‘cuz I had a coffee
I’ll try to get through my verse but I really don’t know
I drank that coffee about five minutes ago

(Chrous Guy)
They hired me again to sing this motherfuckin’ chorus
I haven’t found a fuckin’ job yet
So I gotta do this bullshit
(I can’t take it, I’m done)
I don’t think that I can sing another fuckin’ chorus
I think I’m gonna jump off a bridge
Or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did
(I think my dad has a gun)

(MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees)
I’m MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees
Fifteen miles an hour is their average speed
A queen can lay up to 3, 000 eggs a day
Just ‘cuz I know a lot about bees doesn’t mean that I’m gay
I’m also MC In The Closet Homosexual
I hide it ‘cuz it’s easier to be heterosexual
We can’t even get married in most states here in America
It’s fucked up

(MC Canadian Stereotype)
Gay marriage is legal here in Canada

(MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole)
I’m MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole
Being gay is evil and it is unnatural
Jesus said to love thy neighbor but only if they are straight
Penises go in vaginas
Anything else is just insane!

(MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes)
I’m MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes
I shake things up like Jay Fox when I get on the mic
And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve’s horse
Then I put them asleep like Heath Ledger of course

(MC Politically Correct)
WHOA
I’m MC Extremely Politically Correct
I disagree with the previous MC’s lyrical content
It’s offensive, insensitive, and in very bad taste
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away

(MC Final Verse)
Yo, MC Final Verse here to end the song
One was enough, we didn’t need a sequel, Jon
Make a fourth Show Me Your Genitals or another Normal Guy
But for now let’s end this stupid song with a suicide

(Chorus Guy)
This is the last time that I will ever sing a chorus
My dad’s gun was in his closet
And I’m gonna end this bullshit
(I had a good run)
I’m gonna pull the trigger as soon as I finish the chorus
Sanoara and farewell
I guess I’ll see you all in hell
4, 3, 2, 1…

(MC Final Verse)
Oh my God, Chorus Guy killed himself!
(MC Historically Inaccurate)
Just like John Lennon and JFK
(MC Extremely Inappropriate Rhymes)
And OJ Simpson’s wife
(MC Knows Too Many Facts About Bees/In The Closet Homosexual)
Only one bullet? It takes a thousand bee stings to kill a man
(MC Don’t Know How To Pluralize Word(s))
That is a lot of bee
(MC Confusing)
There’s more blood than a rubber hose bottle of foot!
(MC Homophobic Fucking Asshole)
Shut up, queer fags!
(MC Canadian Stereotype)
We don’t tolerate that kind of hateful language in Canada
(MC Fatigue)
I’m gonna go call an ambula-*snore*
(MC Final Verse)
Who’s gonna sing the chorus from now on?
(MC Vagina)
Hey…
You can’t spell chorus without… vagina!