Tenacious D — Classical Teacher

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Текст Tenacious D — Classical Teacher

[JB & KG]
Hey Kage

Jabels

How goes it man?

It’s good, it’s good

You know I’ve been thinkin’ a lot about it
And um, I just want us to be the best fuckin’ band in the world

Well, yeah, me too

I mean, there’s no point in doin’ it if we’re not the best

Well, it’s true, I agree with that

I mean what, what, we’re gonna be, yeah we’re really good
We’re almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that

Yeah

We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust

What, what do you mean?

All those fuckin’ youngsters gotta lick our boot or fuck it
You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, well how do we do that though?

Dude, you need to fuckin’ have some lessons

What?!

You know you’re really good, but you gotta expand your game

Lessons?

You know how Kobe, in the off-season, will go and like
Learn a fuckin’, you know, a Texas-two-step or somethin’
To add to his arsenal?

Yeah, that’s true, that’s true

Well I’ve just been noticing
Some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy

Really? Huh

And I, I hope you’re not pissed off at me
But I went and hired a dude

Yeah?

Yeah

Oh no, what?

Dude, just give it a chance will you?
If you don’t like, hey, I swear, if you don’t like it
We’ll fuckin’ fire his ass, he’s out

Who is this guy? I’ve never

His name is Felix Char

Oh, what?

He’s from Spain and he is the best
I got him from the fuckin’ London Field S’armonic

I just, I don’t know him, it seems weird, I

Would you just, will you spend a minute with him?

Okay, alright, I’ll spend a minute with him

He’s right outside, I’m sending him in

Oh, God, okay
Why? Lessons, so stupid

[Felix Char & KG]
Hello?

H-hi

Hello, I am Felix Char

Hi, uh, Felix, yeah, who

Is, uh, Jack has asked me to spend some time with you

Oh, yeah, okay

Uh, one on one
So, while Jack is outside, we will work on your technique

Okay

Can I see your, pickup, eh, is this your guitar here?

Yeah, I got it right, I got it

Ah, it is a Fender, huh? Is this a fender?

Oh, well, it’s a Gibson

Yes, a Gibson, yes, made by the same, uh, manufacturer
Pick it up, please, can you pick it up?

Okay, yeah

No-to-to-to-to-pa-pa-pa-pa

What? What’d I do? What’d I do?

You pick it up from the neck
This is not the way you pick up a guitar

I just picked it up, I just

No no, hey hey hey hey
Quiete tu boca
You pick it up from the body, okay?

The what?

The body

Oh the body, okay, okay

I’m sorry about my accent

I didn’t know, I didn’t know

Now listen to me
I want to you to play like it is a woman
You go and play the guitar now, play

Uhh, okay, uhh

No no no no no
Your fingers, your fingers are too tight

They’re too tight?

Yes, let me get behind you like this, you see
If I put my finger on your finger, then you can feel

What? Hey, I can play, just

Shu-shu-shu-shu-shu

Just let me play

Finger to your mouth, I put my, my finger on your mouth
On your lips, yes that’s good

Hey, man, what are you?

Relax, hey, you want to play like an orgasm

I’m just try, what?

Feel this, do you feel that?

Oh God, this is really weird man

That’s, that’s my cock

What?!

It’s my cock in your butt cheeks

Oh God, hey!

You feel it?

Ow!

Now I’m going to touch your cock, let me touch your penis

[JB & KG]
It’s me, it’s me

What?!

It’s JB, there’s no Felix dude

God, what are you doing?

There’s no Felix
I’m fucking waking you up!
And trying to shake your foundations

By touching me with your penis?

Yes, by fucking touching your penis, whatever it takes

God!

That’s all I’m saying, dude, I’m making a point
Let’s get fucking serious, let’s get fucking physical!
Alright, let’s take it from the top