Ludacris — Viagra Skit

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Текст Ludacris — Viagra Skit

Oh god! Oh god! Ugh.
9−1-1 What’s your emergency?
Yes ma’am I got a hard problem, I got a hard problem…
Calm down sir, it can’t be that hard, Okay?
No, no it can’t, it-it can’t… It is! My dick, it’s been hard for over eight
hours and it just won’t go down!
Excuse me?!
I took one of them Viagras for the first time…
Word?!
And the first one didn’t do anything, s-so I took another one…
OK.
And now my shit harder than titanium in this motherfucker, I’ve been knocking
shit over…
Damn, I ain’t had no dick in 6 months.
Why don’t them shits come with directions?! I don’t know what to do, ma’am help!
Hey girl, Lisa!

Hmhm—?
—My god, what was I thinking…
—Cover my shift, forward this call to my cell and confirm his address!
I got you!
Swear to god imma kill Tyrone and them niggas, I ain’t never listenin’ to them
niggas again man, I swear!
Mmm… Calm down, sir help is on the way!
I can’t believe these bitches set my dick up for failure!
Well, what happened anyway?
I had, I had invited this chick over, you know what I’m sayin’, this bitch I
knew from a long time…
Mm-Hmm…
And she said she was with her friend, and they both wanted this thang, man,
like they both wanted to jump me off, you know what I’m sayin’, and then—
—Poor thang!—

—it started going to voicemail, man I HATE these bitches, man why do they need
to be doing this stupid shit?!
Mm-Mm, sir, help is in the neighborhood!—Is it the last house on the right?
…Right on the right… right? No, they right, THESE BITCHES AIN’T RIGHT!
Mm, don’t worry about that! Momma gon’ take care of you! Oh, is the one with
the blow up dolls in the front?
The one in the cut, with the furry bushes… it’s got some furry bushes,
yes it does… I done wacked off like three times! I don’t know what else to
do!
Well, you ain’t gotta do that no more! (opens and closes door)
What the hell you doin’ in my house?!
Nigga, where the drinks at?!