Jon LaJoie — Wtf Collective
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Текст Jon LaJoie — Wtf Collective
Other rappers are comprehensible — not me!
First on the mic — MC Confusing!
I took a piss on my nutsack and called it Jack Black
It’s a fact, I got more rhymes then Zach Braff taking a nap
I attack motherfuckers wearing purple backpacks
And I snack on towel racks and take a shit on your track
Yeah your whack, cause everybody understands what you say
But when I get on the mic, I make milk outta clay
And I play air guitar with a tube of toothpaste
And I say karate pencil case and put it on tape
Yo I’m MC Insecure — what’s up?
I really don’t think that I’m good enough
To be rhyming on this track cause my lyrics suck
All mys fall flat like a hockey puck
It took me seven months to write the first part of my
And now I got nothing left so I’ll pretend that I got hurt
Aw, I think I sprained my ankle
You guys go ahead and finish the song without me
Yo MC Amnesia up in this bitch
Woke up five days ago lying in the ditch
Didn’t know who I was I couldn’t remember shit
Apparently something happened that was traumatic
I used to have more rhymes but I can’t remember them
Seriously I’m freaking out I can’t remember anything!
What’s my motherfucking name?
(Seriously does anyone know what my name is?)
Yo I’m MC Public Urination — what — what!
I take a fucking piss on a fucking sidewalk
Anytime, anyplace, I just whip out my cock
And empty my bladder while you motherfuckers watch!
You other MCs can’t handle this shit!
You’re just a little bitch afraid to pee in public
You run into a toilet every time you have to piss
Yo fuck that shit — I just whip out my dick!
Yo MC Fatigue — yeah that’s me
Every time I grab the mic I fucking fall asleep
I’m the guy who sings the
(It breaks up the song)
My part is kinda boring
(I wish that I could go home)
But they’re paying me to sing the
(And I really need the cash)
Cause I’m unemployed at the moment
(Just moved back in with my dad)
Yo I’m MC Doesn’t Know What Irony Is
Walked up to a girl and I gave her a kiss
She said «Let’s go to your place, I’ll suck your dick»
I said «Hell yeah bitch, that’s so ironic»
Yo I’m MC Gets Side-Tracked Easily
My rhymes are badass like Gandolfini
You know he’s known for the Sopranos but he’s also in movies
Like Get Shorty and Terminal Velocity
Which I didn’t really like cause I don’t like Charlie Sheen
Well I guess in Hot Shots, he was kinda funny
But I prefer Leslie Nielsen in the Naked Gun
You know who else was in that movie? O.J. Simpson
Which is kinda weird, knowing what he did after that
Wait, what was I saying?
I think I got side-tracked.
Yo I’m MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2 & 3
I really like those movies but the 4th disappointed me
Danny Glover, Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci
Why did they have to make a 4th?
They had a perfect trilogy!
MC Lethal Weapon 4 that’s me
I disagree with MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2 & 3
Although I agree that it is a groundbreaking trilogy
The 4th was also good they added Chris Rock and Jet Li!
Yo I’m MC Shit My Pants Frequently
It usually happens when I’m walking down the street
Or when I’m hanging out with some fly ass hoes
There we go!
Thank god I brought a change of clothes!
Yo I’m the MC with the final
I’m supposed to sum up everything you heard
But mutherfuckers I don’t really have the time
So fuck that and come back to the Guy
I’m still singing the
(Thank god we’re almost done)
I hate singing the
(Such a boring fucking job)
I’m gonna take my 40 bucks
(That’s what their paying me)
And I’m gonna go get really drunk
(Masturbate then go to sleep)
