Dethklok — Some Time Ago. . .

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PICKLES
Magnus has been kicked out of the band.
I think the four of us understand
that we gotta make a record.
Gotta make it great.
It’s our very first one. It must annihilate.
Since we fired the man we are short one artist.
We need to fill the void. We need a guitarist.
But he’s gotta fit right. Gotta be the right vibe.
He’s gotta fucking rock because we are Dethklok.

SKWISGAAR
I disagrees for you sees we don’t needs nobody else.
Dis shoulds be a ones guitar bands.
Yes indeeds. Ain’ts nobodys goods as me.
Can match my speed. And conquers me.

PICKLES
Look at all these hopeful auditioners.
Oh they came from so far away.
But if you show them you are the best then

YES you may have your way.
If you hack all them into pieces with your mighty shredding axe.
then we will forever from this moment on be a four piece
and you will be the only guitarist of DETHKLOK.

SKWISGAAR
Alright.

Skwisgaar begins playing. The auditioning guitarist don’t even get a chance to play. They shoot through the roof, blow up, get sucked out of the window. Their guitars explode.

SKWISGAAR
Shred its now. Your goings down.
Takes ones more. This ams a war!
Shred its now. Your goings down.
Goings down. Yeah!

I ams a wizard I am a sorcerer and
I’ve proven to dis world that we don’t need nobody.
We ams a one guitar band. Yes indeed.

DETHKLOK
You have been bested by the master.
Bow before your glowing guitar god.

NATHAN

Someone keeps on knocking.
Someone’s at the door.
Let them in right now.
Appears to be one more.

TOKI
Hellos. I’m sorrys.
I got lost alongs the way.
My name is Toki. I am just a boy here form Norway.
I’m so sad. I missed mys auditions appointsments today.
But I think that you shoulds gives me a chance anyhow
because I have this feeling.
Something tells me
this was meant to be.
Do you feel this electricity?
Gives me this chance.

SKWISGAAR
Alrights. You seem so nice.
It’s a shames you must go downs this way