RuPaul — PharmaRusical

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Текст RuPaul — PharmaRusical

Welcome to Ru-co labs
Better living through fake science

Welcome to Ru-co labs
The future is now and it’s freaking me out
Welcome to Ru-co labs
They always say consult your doctor before taking a new medicine
But what the hell do they know
Tell it like it is girl
What we got in stock?

We got tablets, drops, patches, and shots.
We got liquids that can take you from whatever you got.
Have a sip,
Have a slurper, if you can still swallow
A hand full of promises even though they’re hollow

Here at Ru-co labs we’ve worked so hard
To make these drugs help you with your strife
So check out these pills we’re tucking
Cause honey they’re here to give you life
Welcome to Ru-co labs YAHH!

O M G
What? what’s wrong?
Boys don’t make passes at queens with flat asses
What can I do about it?
Say goodbye padding and hello to badonkadonk
And it makes yo ass get a lot humps
It comes in a patch
Snuffed down by your snatch
If it’s a good batch
Then it starts to hatch

Badonkadonk
Watch out Joe, watch out Nicky, watch out Kandy K
‘Cause we about to break the internet every other day
Got a new power bottom and it’s on display,
It’s got its own zip code by the way 9-0-2-1
OHHHH that’s a big old ass
My backside looks like a mountain pass
Badonkadonks now available on the go,
In a perky powder that looks a lot like snow.
Put it in your salad or a cold ice tea
Don’t snort it up your nose this ain’t 1983
Badonkadonks

Hey sandy haven’t seen you at the club lately
Yeah well,
I spent most of my summer working on my drag race audition
That’s not what I heard,
I heard you’ve been poppin out at parties
You don’t mean? SANDY NO!

Used to rule the clubs but now I’m stuck at home,
Suffering from a case of restless tuck syndrome.
‘Cause when I see a stud in a tuck that’s cropped,
I can’t get in my drag cause my tuck gets popped!

But now there’s a solution made by Ru-co Inc.
A handy little pill that makes your junk shrink
So easy once a month just open up your say aww
When life gets to hard just take some flaccida
(Flaccida, flaccida)
Flaccida saved my life and now I love it
Oodles, even around the pit crew I feel nothing noodles
(Flaccida)
Now illegal in 48 states

Here’s the tee about that old queen on Twitter
You know that hateful bitch that’s always so bitter
She says that Gaga stole it all from Madonna
What’s next adopting kids from Botswana
She wears caftans and moo moos
Just like a idol
What she have in her gym bag?
Viagra and Midol
Kids today are down hill post Mariah,
And who’s that new girl names Zendaya?

Do you suffer from bitter old queen syndrome?
Ru-co labs has a spray for that
Trollvada spray a spritz a dab under your old under thigh
And soon you’ll be taking snapchats of your avocado toast
For the love of Kathleen Turner what is happening!?

HUHH oh my God, I’m obsessed with Miley’s new single
What’s the new dating app I’m ready to mingle
I’m gender fluid and not into labels
Cutting boards and getting rid of cable

I don’t just sit at dinner tables anymore,
I flip em.
Thanks conflama
(That bitch is crazy)

I haven’t had a sip of wine in three years, why?
Because now I throw it in people’s faces!
Thanks conflama
Conflama, it’s conflict plus drama

You know what that equals right? Dolla signs
It’s what every reality Stars got
Conflama I put two teaspoons in my coffee
Every morning, good to the last death drop
Conflama, find a way to pull up tonight.
Conflama
Bitch I’m from Chicago
Conflama, won’t go home till we start a fight,
Conflama
This ain’t Rupaul’s best friends race

Go back to party city where you belong
Bitch! The song is over
Don’t you tell me when the song is over!
Conflama, it’s working!

What did tinderella say when she got to the ball?
Oh dear tinderella, why are you gaging so?
What could I do
I bit off more than I could chew
It’s my great defect, I have terminal gag reflex

Feeling stressed, choked a distant
Gag reflex is so persistent
Ru-co labs has a potion
You can drink up any ocean!
Now there’s swalloweve
(Lalalalalalalala)
Swalloweve
(Lalalalalalalala)
Swalloweve is for princesses 21 and older
And does not prevent the spread of STIs
Side effects include increased bitchyness
An unquenchable thirst
Lower credit scores, and total austigmization
Thanks to swalloweve I’ll be ready whenever my prince comes
(Swalloweve)

Did you see her shoes?
Yass queen
Qren’t they so tacky?
Yass queen
Can you stop saying that?
Yass qwen
I don’t think you can?
Bitch what do you mean?

Some queens are so annoying
They’re voices are really cloying
Repeating the same words
Falling out they’re lips like turds

Oh girl you got Drag mouth, it’s a bit problemary
You need to read a book like right now
And up your vocabulary

But now there’s a fix when you come and go south
All you gotta do is put this caulk in your mouth
Caulk, as in C-A-U-L-K
Get your mind out of the gutter

Anyone can use it including straights, bis, and gays.
It stops your loose lips from shouting drag clichés
Side effects include but are not limited to YASSS QWEN!
Damn now I got it.
God God Get a Grip Gurl, Okurrrrr

There’s a question, burns deep in my soul.
One that you, can only control
From your lips, to gods ear,
There’s an answer we all need to hear
Tell me is there, an anal option
What’s right for others ain’t right for me
What I’m asking is biology,
Rupaul is there
An anal option, for me
(For me, for me, for me, for me, me too)

Five out of four doctors don’t recommend Ru-co labs
So kids just don’t drugs
Just love yourself so you can love somebody else
Can I get an amen?
Amen